Tuesday, 5 April 2011

When cows attack

The only animal you can hunt with a hammer.
Popular Science looks at cows and acts all surprised when they learn that in the United States 108 people a year are killed by cattle.

First off, they keep conflating cows and bulls.  Having had to deal with a mad bull once, I can attest that this is not just nitpicking.  The latter can be downright homicidal.  Also, this farm boy can tell you that it isn't surprising that even the placid cow can be dangerous.  You're looking at up to three quarters of a ton of underdone pot roast there and when in numbers or a confined space just getting in their way can be the last mistake you'll ever make.

Something tells me that there's a lot of city boys in the Pop Sci editorial office.

4 comments:

eon said...

As a farm boy myself, I second the sentiment. Stupidest maneuver I've seen? Three would-be rustlers sneaking into a fenced field to try to grab some cows. At night. (About 11 PM.)

Said field occupied by one very large and not especially sweet-tempered Black Angus bull, and his harem. And oh yes, it was "that time of year", when he wasn't in a very good mood anyway.

Hearing the ruckus (from across the road and about 300 yards down) I called the Sheriff's Office. The responding deputies (who knew the property owner, and also knew that bull) managed to extricate the witless trio before any permanent damage was done.

Final score:

Bull- 2 tramples, 1 gore.

James Gang wannabees- 3 extended stays in hospital and local hoosegow.

The judge stated that he wished he could charge them with "Exuberant Stupidity" in addition to trespassing and attempted Grand Theft.

(This was in 1972, in Southeast Ohio, BTW, and as Jeff Cooper once said, "The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there".)

Bulls and steers are bad enough. But take this to heart; never, ever piss off a Poland China boar. Or a sow with piglets.

Especially not at night.

cheers

eon

Sergej said...

Revenge for all those Garry Larson cartoons?

Ironmistress said...

Jake LaMotta can now smile sweetly. That was like a raging bull.

Wunderbear said...

Interesting fact; the reason that we have separate names for farm animals and their meat (cow/beef, sheep/mutton, etc) is due to the Norman conquests. The french nobles never really saw the animals live, only as their food; so the meat was called by the french name (boef, mouton, etc), and the animals, tended to by the anglo-saxon peasants, were called by their terms.

...I thought it was interesting when I heard, anyway. I can't believe I realised it before.