Thursday, 28 April 2011

Safe House

Welcome to the Blofeld summer home.
This is a bit modern for my tastes, but it does have one neat trick up its sleeve:

That lawn had better be mined.
Flick the switch and the steel door rolls down and concrete slabs slam shut over the windows to turn the cottage into an impregnable pillbox.

It's impressive, but a bit amateurish.  Now if the walls sloped more to deflect shot and were of reinforced concrete with a sheet of Chobam armour and kevlar padding it would be better.  And I'd prefer that as the shutters closed the strategically placed remote-controlled mini-gun turrets on the grounds would rise followed by the Javelin and Rapier missile launchers. The subterranean escape tunnel* with the one-man rocket sled/jet aeroplane I take as a given.

Safety first, you know.

*House self-destruct switch inside the hidden entrance in the study.


Daniel said...

really, it looks like it would be easier to arrange for that box to sink into the ground - that way all the armour could be concentrated in the roof. Still, not bad for a first draft design

Chris Lopes said...

There doesn't seem to be any room for the huge indoor tank filled with Purana/sharks with frikin lasers to throw the occasional careless member of Her Majesty's Secret Service in. :)

Sergej said...

Clearly, this generation knows nothing of the art of fortification. Where are the arrow slits? the machiolations? the corner towers wherefrom to pour fire upon attackers endeavoring to breach the curtain walls? The building we see here is the work of a rank amateur, and could be taken by v knights and men at arms within a day.

Were I charg'd with holding this castle, I would first construct the above mentioned defenses, and also a proper gate with a sally port wherefrom the defenders might issue and harass their unworthy foes. Secondly, would I invest the keep with at least i level of circumvallation, if only an earthen rampart and wooden wall; even if this outer wall be penetrated, the attackers would all be concentrated in the courtyard, where archers and arbalasters could pick them off at their leisure from the battlements. Finally, I would mount that engine which is called the Trebuchet, whose use the Moors are said to have learn'd from the armies of Cathay, upon the roof, for flinging filthy great stones, buckets of filth and lowing farm animals upon the heads of the low-born foe. My personal preference in this regard is for an old fashioned mangonel or onager, but especially in military matters, one must keep up with the times.

eon said...

Testing. Testing.



eon said...

Alright, now that that frelling nonsense is out of the way...*

The main problem with this is that if the power goes off, you're stuck- until you either starve or maybe just die of suffocation when the ventilation goes out.

As for dropping it below ground, Marineville-style, I'd want to know exactly how far down I get before I hit ground water before I'd consider that.

The best "apocalypse house", IMHO, is a cabin in the boonies, with an artesian well, a garden, a woodlot, a root cellar in case of storms (and to keep potatoes and turnips through the winter)- and with both clear fields of fire in all directions and lots of rifle ammo.

(*Oh, and PS- Google won't let you comment here anymore without signing up for an account. Tell me, Google- did you ask Mr. Szondy what his opinion of that is, first?)



Bryan said...

I'm commenting without an account and I've never felt more free!

Wunderbear said...

That's a nice touch! And the walls are portal-proof surfaces, I see. It's no Enrichment Centre but it'll do in a pinch.