I'd prefer something along the lines of: "Good day, sir. Do you have your passport, visa, ship's registration and manifest? Right. Have you read this, sir? Do you have any wine, spirits, uncooked meats, growing plants? How many cigarettes? How much cash..."
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Jay Leno was a guest on Letterman some 25 years ago or so and did a bit about aliens. He suggested we would be very embarrassed to discover that they only come here to let their kids go to the bathroom and that Earth is just a giant intergalactic Stuckeys.
His question about UFOs was why didn't they land someplace like MIT so they could talk to scientists, instead they always seem to land in the middle of a swamp where Bob Bookie and his cousin Weenie are fishing.
"Howdy!"
Why so glum? Maybe they come to serve man?
You know, if they landed today and left that book for us to translate, as soon as the cover was figured out, there'd be all sorts of spokespeople saying; "Well, what they mean to say by serving man..."
Any talk about aliens eating people would be branded as "hate speech" and offensive to the Kanamits. We should be reaching out and understanding their culture.
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