Friday 19 June 2009

Cutting to the chase

Popular Mechanics has an interesting article on how to survive attacks from a mountain lion, alligator, and black bear. Their suggestions are all very good, but they do lack an obvious alternative that we here at EI now provide as a public service.

Surviving an attack by:
  • A mountain lion: Unsling the hunting rifle you should have been carrying in the first place, chamber a round, point it at the mountain lion's head, and blow his brains out.
  • An alligator: Unsling the hunting rifle you should have been carrying in the first place, chamber a round, point it at the alligator's head, and blow his brains out.
  • A black Bear: Unsling the hunting rifle you should have been carrying in the first place, chamber a round, point it at the bear's head, and blow his brains out.
Neat, simple, and to the point.

2 comments:

Neil Russell said...

The handy dandy pocket version also works well to ward off attacks from the downtown variety of unpleasant predators.

It's an amazing device that does the job in town or in the country, no home should be without one...or several

Sergej said...

Yeh, what he said. A rifle weighs and catches on things, and in many places tends to alarm the locals. Also, takes a while to unsling, especially if you're hiking with a pack.

Woman with whom I used to backpack in Minnesota carried a short-barreled .38 when she went out alone---against predators of both the quadrupedal and bipedal varieties. Round of rat-shot loaded first, in case of snakes, and the rest solid, should be good up to black bears.

Or have the bearers carry all the camp equipment while you stride ahead carrying just the rifle. But it's hard to get good hired help. Has an annoying habit of running off in the night as soon as you get within death-cursing distance of that one skull-shaped mountain whose local name translates to "Mountain of Certain Horrible Screaming Soul-Sucking Own-Face-Tearing-Off Death". And then you've got to press on alone, leaving your whisky stores behind. And that's tragic each and every time it happens.