Thursday 11 June 2009

The Dolphin of Detroit

Brian Deese, the 31-year old Yale Law School drop out whose car industry experience consists of once sleeping in a GM car park and has been charged with the task of, according to the New York Times, "dismantling General Motors and rewriting the rules of American capitalism," has been declared the Dolphin Dauphin of Detroit.

No doubt shipments of tennis balls are in the offing.

3 comments:

Sergej said...

Tennis balls? Don't get it. I mean, I'd send Comrad^WMr. Deese a tube of Wilsons (or maybe a hackeysack, as he seems more the type), but that's because, unlike with Jolly King Hal, I think it would be appropriate.

Or do you mean GM is going to go conquer Citroen?

David said...

Henry V Act 1 Scene 2

First Ambassador

Thus, then, in few.
Your highness, lately sending into France,
Did claim some certain dukedoms, in the right
Of your great predecessor, King Edward the Third.
In answer of which claim, the prince our master
Says that you savour too much of your youth,
And bids you be advised there's nought in France
That can be with a nimble galliard won;
You cannot revel into dukedoms there.
He therefore sends you, meeter for your spirit,
This tun of treasure; and, in lieu of this,
Desires you let the dukedoms that you claim
Hear no more of you. This the Dauphin speaks.

KING HENRY V

What treasure, uncle?

EXETER

Tennis-balls, my liege.

KING HENRY V

We are glad the Dauphin is so pleasant with us;
His present and your pains we thank you for:
When we have march'd our rackets to these balls,
We will, in France, by God's grace, play a set
Shall strike his father's crown into the hazard.
Tell him he hath made a match with such a wrangler
That all the courts of France will be disturb'd
With chaces. And we understand him well,
How he comes o'er us with our wilder days,
Not measuring what use we made of them.
We never valued this poor seat of England;
And therefore, living hence, did give ourself
To barbarous licence; as 'tis ever common
That men are merriest when they are from home.
But tell the Dauphin I will keep my state,
Be like a king and show my sail of greatness
When I do rouse me in my throne of France:
For that I have laid by my majesty
And plodded like a man for working-days,
But I will rise there with so full a glory
That I will dazzle all the eyes of France,
Yea, strike the Dauphin blind to look on us.
And tell the pleasant prince this mock of his
Hath turn'd his balls to gun-stones; and his soul
Shall stand sore charged for the wasteful vengeance
That shall fly with them: for many a thousand widows
Shall this his mock mock out of their dear husbands;
Mock mothers from their sons, mock castles down;
And some are yet ungotten and unborn
That shall have cause to curse the Dauphin's scorn.
But this lies all within the will of God,
To whom I do appeal; and in whose name
Tell you the Dauphin I am coming on,
To venge me as I may and to put forth
My rightful hand in a well-hallow'd cause.
So get you hence in peace; and tell the Dauphin
His jest will savour but of shallow wit,
When thousands weep more than did laugh at it.
Convey them with safe conduct. Fare you well.

Exeunt Ambassadors

EXETER

This was a merry message.

Sergej said...

Ah, wakarimashita.

We had another Dauphin here in America. He and his friend the Duke used to travel along the Mississippi and put on a one-act play. These days, it would probably be considered Art, but back then, not so much. I suspect that the end of the two stories may be similar, however.