Cheese

It was President's Day at Chez Szondy; a day that I thought would be signified by nothing more ominous than a lack of postal deliveries and trying to get a day's work done with two dogs and a six-year old in attendance while the wife is off on a business trip to Oregon. What I hadn't reckoned with is that one of the neighbour kids was having a birthday party today. A birthday party an hour's drive away. At a place called Chuck E Cheese's.

If you live somewhere on the outskirts of Ulan Bator and have never heard of Mr Cheese, then you no doubt also are not sharing the feeling of dread that is gripping the hearts of everyone who has. Chuck E Cheese's is, depending on how you look at it, either a child-oriented games arcade that serves hideous food or the nastiest pizzeria on Earth with video games. Either way, walking into one is to be hit in the face with a simultaneous blast of electronic noise and the lingering odour of burned pizza. And, of course, the eating tables, the service areas, and the games are all so crowded together that grown ups spend most of their time trying not to step on a munchkin.

On the upside, the harried mother of the birthday boy gave my daughter a cup full of tokens so she could spend a blissful hour whacking moles, bunching ducks, shooting zombies and never getting a crack at the Mechwarrior console with the combat seat equipped with joystick and throttle–the only halfway interesting game in the place. After that, it was a feast of overdone pizza and cake, though due to her allergies the daughter had to make do with McDonalds and fig newtons. The highlight of the afternoon was when Mr Cheese himself appeared to entertain the party. We were lucky. He was in town appearing at the Tulalip Casino in Marysville. If we'd been in last week, it would have been Michael Crawford doing a few sets.

One thing I have learned though. If The Cheese people really want to clean up, the should get a licence and sell drinks to the adults–especially if the bar didn't open until they'd been in the place for at least an hour.

They'd make a bloody fortune.