Wednesday 21 March 2007

Acrophobic Skywalker


The Grand Canyon Skywalk has opened in Arizona. This $40 million structure is a u-shaped walkway that juts out over the canyon and has a glass floor that affords visitors breathtaking views of the canyon floor 4000 feet STRAIGHT DOWN.

This structure allows me to make the truest statement ever written: I will never, ever, even in my most deranged moments, set foot on that thing, nor will I accept any invitation or yield to any threat of violence to partake of the breathtaking views of the canyon floor 4000 feet STRAIGHT DOWN.

This will no doubt be of great relief to the owners of the Skywalk, as the repair bills would be phenomenal should some bizarre set of circumstances somehow cause me to find myself on that impressive glass-floored structure with its breathtaking views of the canyon floor 4000 feet STRAIGHT DOWN.

My digging my fingers directly into the glass as I clawed my way back to solid ground while screaming "Jesus" at the top of my lungs would not only cause considerable physical damage, but I suspect that the other visitors might be put off by the incident and hence unable to enjoy the breathtaking views of the canyon floor 4000 feet STRAIGHT DOWN.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You too, huh?

Unknown said...

You hate new, trendy stuff, do you?
Me too.

Anonymous said...

...I'm getting a feeling that you're not too good with large heights.

Anonymous said...

I, myself, suspect the necessary outlay in stain removers after my visit would far outstrip any pecuniary gain entailed on the behalf of the owners. And this would be true even in a heavy, heacy fog where I could only see, say, 300 feet down. Or really, anything more than about 30.