Monday 6 October 2008

Jettison Cocoon!

Roman Abramovich, the owner of Chelsea football club, is spending £200 million on building a 550 ft yacht that differs from your average billionaire's floating palace in that it boasts armour plating, anti-missile radar, a 70-strong crew of ex-SAS men, and two-man escape submarine.

Mr. Abramovich claims to be adding these optional extras because of "pirates", but if a Vulcan nuclear bomber goes missing while Mr. Abramovich is sailing in the Bahamas, I'll know who to look up first.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe he's planning to get a letter of marque and reprisal and use his battleship yacht to go pirate-hunting.

Anonymous said...

Why didn't he just buy a Liberty class battleship?
It would even look better than a yacht, if you ask me.
And he could catapult a seaplane!

Sergej said...

Does the ship's manifest include a white Persian cat? Because if it does, we're screwed.

Anonymous said...

If I had nearly half a billion dollars to throw away, I'd be looking at those cool pebble bed reactors, and that new high strength plastic, and would be trying to talk USSubs into making me a 600 ft long boat with 1959 Buick fins on the back and windows on the front.
Pirates? Meh, I'm going hunting for that Lobster Man!