The Backwoodsman, a magazine about the outdoors and what the PC mavens call "sustainable living" (the mag calls it "surviving bad times") had an article on more-or-less the same subject. Pointing out that people who find themselves face-to-face with "old Ephraim" tend to end up as bear scat, they plumped for a 6.5 x 55mm Swedish Mauser, as it has enough oomph to go through Yogi lengthwise if necessary.
On the subject of bear repellent, I know of at least one case in which a "Friend of Holy Mother Gaia" failed to read the instructions. He was being dropped off (unarmed) in Alaska by a bush pilot, who told him that he could be in danger because (a) this was a bear's hunting area and (b) the salmon were running. He gave the pilot The Look, and with a disdainful tone explained that he had bear repellent, so he would have no need to harm such "gentle creatures" (as an Alaskan Brownie...).
The pilot took off, and made a pass to see if the fellow was upright. Instead, he was writhing on the ground. The pilot landed again, and then took said "Friend of the Earth" to the nearest hospital.
You guessed it- he'd assumed that bear repellent (which is basically tear gas) works like mosquito repellent, and sprayed himself.
Well, since the bush pilot landed back on the river (he dropped Captain Planet on the bank from his floatplane) before ol' Ephraim noticed the weird smell, I guess we'll never know.
But if he hadn't, my money is on the Green Man ending up as compost after passing through a Brownie's GI tract. I suspect the bear would have considered the repellent (which is basically a weaker-than-permitted-against-humans version of CN- have to avoid hurting the defenseless animal, you know) would have just added a delightful piquancy to his feast of "long pig".
Amazing! So you're saying that not only does watered-down tear gas prevent one from being nibbled upon by bears---it staves off Mister Darwin himself! It must be powerful stuff indeed.
4 comments:
The Backwoodsman, a magazine about the outdoors and what the PC mavens call "sustainable living" (the mag calls it "surviving bad times") had an article on more-or-less the same subject. Pointing out that people who find themselves face-to-face with "old Ephraim" tend to end up as bear scat, they plumped for a 6.5 x 55mm Swedish Mauser, as it has enough oomph to go through Yogi lengthwise if necessary.
On the subject of bear repellent, I know of at least one case in which a "Friend of Holy Mother Gaia" failed to read the instructions. He was being dropped off (unarmed) in Alaska by a bush pilot, who told him that he could be in danger because (a) this was a bear's hunting area and (b) the salmon were running. He gave the pilot The Look, and with a disdainful tone explained that he had bear repellent, so he would have no need to harm such "gentle creatures" (as an Alaskan Brownie...).
The pilot took off, and made a pass to see if the fellow was upright. Instead, he was writhing on the ground. The pilot landed again, and then took said "Friend of the Earth" to the nearest hospital.
You guessed it- he'd assumed that bear repellent (which is basically tear gas) works like mosquito repellent, and sprayed himself.
cheers
eon
But eon, did the Pal of the Gaia end up gittin' hisself et? So maybe spraying oneself with tear gas does work?
Well, since the bush pilot landed back on the river (he dropped Captain Planet on the bank from his floatplane) before ol' Ephraim noticed the weird smell, I guess we'll never know.
But if he hadn't, my money is on the Green Man ending up as compost after passing through a Brownie's GI tract. I suspect the bear would have considered the repellent (which is basically a weaker-than-permitted-against-humans version of CN- have to avoid hurting the defenseless animal, you know) would have just added a delightful piquancy to his feast of "long pig".
cheers
eon
Amazing! So you're saying that not only does watered-down tear gas prevent one from being nibbled upon by bears---it staves off Mister Darwin himself! It must be powerful stuff indeed.
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