How to respond to a young hooligan beating the life out of a little old lady? If you ask Tony McNulty, Home Office minister for police and security, the answer is to retreat to a safe distance and "jump up and down".
It's a step up from putting a paper bag over your head, but only an infinitesimal one.
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Londoners: There's still time to abandon all hope and take a long walk on a short pier over the Thames.
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