Kevin Fleming presents eight helpful ways to despatch the villains.
- Break it in half with your hands (very easy to do) and use the glass viewing screen's broken edge as a razorblade to slice the jugular when they are looking the other way.
- Take off one sock (a dress or tube sock; pantyhose will work in a pinch), place the Nano in the sock, swing it around as fast as you can (being careful to not hit yourself), and whack the intended target right on the temple.
- Take the reflective shiny part and catch the sun's ray and shine it in a vehicle driver's eyes, or if you are at a rock concert and the lead singer is prancing around on a center stage that protrudes into the audience like a phallus, you can use the same technique.
- The cord on the earbud headphones can be used to strangle someone. A knee in the back can give extra leverage.
- Dig a pit about 5 feet deep, then take about 15 3-foot-long stakes 2 inches in diameter and sharpen one end to a fine point, like a very sharp pencil. Jam the sticks at least a foot into the ground, with the sharp ends pointing up. Cover the hole with pine boughs, grass, and leaves. Treat the Nano like a slice of cheese pizza in a deep, hot oven and place it gently in the middle.
- Carefully unstaple a tea bag and pour the contents on a plate. Break into the lithium-ion battery pack and saturate the tea with the battery's poison, then dry the tea in the sun (or with a hair dryer if you are in a hurry). Put tea back in tea bag and bend the staple back to its original position. Put the tea bag back where you got it.
- Download to the Nano "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters. Tell someone you will give him or her your Nano if they listen to that song a hundred times in a row.
- Hide the Nano in a bowl of lutefisk, then take it to the annual Norsefest Lutefisk Eating Competition in Madison, Minnesota.
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