Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Compact Living

Wired has a slideshow look at ultra-compact modular homes.

It's all very interesting in a Swiss Army knife sort of way, but what strikes me is how the architects tend to plant them in rural settings when one of the reasons I moved to the country was to get out of having to live in a biscuit tin!

Monday, 7 January 2008

And They Acted All Surprised About It


Police in Birmingham issued sobriety tests and found a load of drunk people... in a pub.

Iran Provokes


Iranian Revolutionary Guard boats made a probing action against U. S. Navy ships by buzzing to within firing range while radioing,
I am coming at you. You will explode in a couple of minutes.
Waiting to be told by the press that they were just trying to deliver goodwill fruit baskets in 5... 4... 3...

Drake's Drum

May we never hear it in our lifetimes.
Drake he's in his hammock an' a thousand mile away,
(Capten, art tha sleepin' there below?)
Slung atween the round shot in Nombre Dios Bay,
An' dreamin' arl the time o' Plymouth Hoe.
Yarnder lumes the island, yarnder lie the ships,
Wi' sailor lads a-dancin' heel-an'-toe,
An' the shore-lights flashin', an' the night-tide dashin'
He sees et arl so plainly as he saw et long ago.

Drake he was a Devon man, an' ruled the Devon seas,
(Capten, art tha sleepin' there below?),
Rovin' tho' his death fell, he went wi' heart at ease,
An' dreamin' arl the time o' Plymouth Hoe,
"Take my drum to England, hang et by the shore,
Strike et when your powder's runnin' low;
If the Dons sight Devon, I'll quit the port o' Heaven,
An' drum them up the Channel as we drummed them long ago."

Drake he's in his hammock till the great Armadas come,
(Capten, art tha sleepin' there below?),
Slung atween the round shot, listenin' for the drum,
An' dreamin' arl the time o' Plymouth Hoe.
Call him on the deep sea, call him up the Sound,
Call him when ye sail to meet the foe;
Where the old trade's plyin' an' the old flag flyin',
They shall find him, ware an' wakin', as they found him long ago

Aerotropolis

A beautifully illustrated vision of the metropolitan airport of tomorrow as seen from 1939.

It is utterly criminal that little things like the realities of turbulence, wind shear, basic principles of airport design and building engineering made this sort of airport-sprouting megabuilding impossible long before the runway needs of jetliners were even dreamed of.

Rovio

The WowWee Rovio surveillance robot: Built for autonomous surviellance of your home, Internet-based monitoring, and scaring the bejeesus out of Carl the Cattle Dog.

Follow Up


Yesterday's news: The Bishop of Rochester states that some Muslim areas of Britain are becoming "no-go" zones for infidels.

Not news: Muslim "leaders" demand that the Bishop resign or be sacked.

News: The C of E backs the Bishop.

Next up: Porcine aviation.

Sunday, 6 January 2008

The Last Testament of George MacDonald Fraser

Phew, this seems to be the day for dark-mooded posts and I should make clear that it isn't a reflection of my disposition. One of the frustrating things about running a blog is that when I'm all sweetness and light the web refuses to disgorge anything but bad news, yet when I'm looking upon the world as I burn with a hard, gem-like flame all I can find is quirky, funny stuff.

No doubt it's one of those Swedish meatball things.*

That being said, here we have the recently late George MacDonald Fraser's take on Modern Britain, saying that though the past half century has seen many advances, we've pretty much lost our national soul in the process:
We were freer by far 50 years ago - yes, even with conscription, censorship, direction of labour, rationing, and shortages of everything that nowadays is regarded as essential to enjoyment. We still had liberty beyond modern understanding because we had other freedoms, the really important ones, that are denied to the youth of today. We could say what we liked; they can't. We were not subject to the aggressive pressure of special-interest minority groups; they are. We had no worries about race or sexual orientation; they have. We could, and did, differ from fashionable opinion with impunity, and would have laughed PC to scorn, had our society been weak and stupid enough to let it exist.

We had available to us an education system, public and private, that was the envy of the world. We had little reason to fear being mugged or raped (killed in war, maybe, but that was an acceptable hazard). Our children could play in street and country in safety. We had few problems with bullies because society knew how to deal with bullying and was not afraid to punish it in ways that would send today's progressives into hysterics. We did not know the stifling tyranny of a liberal establishment, determined to impose its views, and beginning to resemble George Orwell's Ministry of Truth.

Above all, we knew who we were and we lived in the knowledge that certain values and standards held true, and that our country, with all its faults and need for reforms, was sound at heart. Not any more. I find it difficult to identify a time when the country was as badly governed as it has been in the past 50 years. We have had the two worst Prime Ministers in our history - Edward Heath (who dragooned us into the Common Market) and Tony Blair. The harm these two have done to Britain is incalculable and almost certainly irreparable
*Oh, yes; the Swedish meatballs reference. It's from Babylon 5:
It's an Earth food. They are called Swedish meatballs. It's a strange thing, but every sentient race has its own version of these Swedish meatballs. I suspect it's one of those great universal mysteries which will either never get explained or which will drive you mad if you ever learned the truth.

Ben Magnan, Call Your Service

It turns out that Britain is taking the war seriously after all. Faced with Jihadist aggression in Asia and the Middle East highlighted by the assassination of a former prime minister of Pakistan, Mr. Gordon Brown is bringing the full might of Britain to bear by deploying a devastating task force-- of diplomats.

Talk 'em to death over smoked salmon and a nice Chablis; that always works against crazed barbarians. But that depends on the diplomat.

When Recessional Becomes Rout?


The Bishop of Rochester, Michael Nazir-Ali has warned that a half century of mass immigration and multiculturalism has borne bitter fruit that threatens Christianity as Britain's public religion and basis of our culture and has resulted in certain areas of Britain becoming "no go" areas where infidels tread at their peril.

You may all go back to sleep now-- until the call to the Faithful wafts forth from the local minarets.

Saturday, 5 January 2008

1984


The first and arguably the best screen adaptation of George Orwell's novel starring the late, great Peter Cushing.

Friday, 4 January 2008

Thursday, 3 January 2008

NEW! Future Farm


We present yet another new section for Tales of Future Past:

Future Farm

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

George MacDonald Fraser (1925-2008)

The author George MacDonald Fraser, OBE has passed on after years of battling cancer.

Sir Harry Paget Flashman, Brigadier-general, V.C., K.C.B., K.C.I.E.; Chevalier, Legion of Honour; Order of Maria Theresa, Austria; Order of the Elephant, Denmark (temporary); U.S. Medal of honor; San Serafino Order of purity and truth, 4th Class was unavailable for comment.

A French Response

While New Labour claims with a straight face that Britain is not at war, France ups the ostrich ante by declaring that "vandals" torching 372 cars on New Years made the night "relatively calm."

And the Blitz was scattered precipitation.

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

War is Peace


According to Britain's chief prosecutor, Britain is not at war and that the terrorists are no real threat:

The people who were murdered on July 7 were not the victims of war. The men who killed them were not soldiers. They were fantasists, narcissists, murderers and criminals and need to be responded to in that way.

And Hitler was just a comic little ranter-- until people started dismissing him as such.

Health Control


The British Prime Minister, Mr. Gordon Brown has indicated that the NHS will refuse to treat patients unless they stop smoking, take exercise and lose weight.

Attending the Two-Minute Hate remains optional, although failure to attend will result in a visit from the Thoughtpolice.

Update: Assuming, of course, that you aren't just told to sod off and treat yourself because it's cheaper on the NHS.

I think it's about time that we asked Mr. Brown to show us his medical degree.

And Now We are Four

Today marks the fourth year of davidszondy.com's official opening and the fourth year of Ephemeral Isle.

Still no sign of world domination, but I'm working on it.

Monday, 31 December 2007

New Years Eve

It's New Year's Eve at Chez Szondy... and most everywhere else, I suppose.

See you in the new year-- hangovers permitting, of course.

Meantime, happy New Year from Ephemeral Isle.

Sunday, 30 December 2007

NEW! Future Fashion


For the style conscious, or unconscious, we present our new Tales of Future Past section:

Future Fashion

Furniture Department

At last, a pub table of both style and practicality.

I could have used one of these at the Spread Eagle back in '86.

Allah: Off Limits to Dhimmis

Remember that bishop who said that Christians should start referring to God as "Allah" to smooth things over with Muslims?

Malaysia responded by making it illegal.

Damned if you do, etc.

Saturday, 29 December 2007

The Final Sacrifice


We've all had to make sacrifices this year, so here's the final one.

Friday, 28 December 2007

Major Boothroyd, Call Your Service

The Swiss have come up with a concept car that is capable of operating underwater (sadly, it's open cockpit).

Once again, MI6 was there thirty years before.

Hello, Kitty "For-Men"

The Japanese are giving Hello, Kitty a more "macho" to appeal to "young men".

I don't think they've thought this one through.

Thursday, 27 December 2007

Iran to Build 19 Atomic Reactors


Iran declares that not only will it never stop its uranium enrichment programme, but it plans to build 19 nuclear reactors.

Who are you going to believe; the NIE or your lying eyes?

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated


The former prime minister of Pakistan is killed in bomb attack with fifteen others.

Not good.

Tuesday, 25 December 2007

Monday, 24 December 2007

Words of Wisdom

Star Wars Holiday Special


Everything that The Phantom Menace could have been and more.

Will Chewbacca get home for life day? Will Harrison Ford ever live this down? Has Harvey Korman no shame? Did Mark Hamill need the money this badly? And what is Carrie Fisher breathing besides oxygen?

WARNING! Bea Arthur sings!

Sunday, 23 December 2007

A Matter of Scale

Putting things into perspective.

Christmas Cheer

Passing on the gift... of caffeine.

Space Striptease II


A commentator on yesterday's entry said that Barbarella would do, if I didn't have Lt. Ellis. And it just so happens that I do.

James Burke slips into third place.

Saturday, 22 December 2007

Space Striptease


I remember seeing this clip of James Burke doing a space striptease when it was first broadcast on the BBC... way too long ago.

Call me biased, but I somehow prefer this one.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians










It's the Christmas season, so what could be more appropriate than the awe and majesty of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?

Caution: Do NOT watch this while sober.

Friday, 21 December 2007

Sci Fi Sound Quiz









Take the Sci fi sounds quiz I received 93 credits on
The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz

How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?
Guess the Sci-Fi Movie Sounds hereCanon powershot

SR-71 Blackbird


No need for comment on this. Just click and enjoy some real beauty

NEW! Future Kitchen


Another toothsome new section for Tales of Future Past:

Future Kitchen

Thursday, 20 December 2007

Micro Nuclear Reactors

Toshiba announces that it is marketing micro nuclear reactors.

I'm definitely altering my plans to install a propane generator at Chez Szondy.

Raymond Burr, Commander Straker, Call Your Service

The Japanese Defence Minister claims that Japan's armed forces are inadequate to repel alien invasions-- by UFOs and Godzilla.

Broken Bulb Bureaucracy

From the Ministry for Wasting the Taxpayer's Money.

They'll be giving out directives on how to wipe our arses next-- after suitable official permission is obtained on the part of the wipee, of course.

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Robby Christmas

If you're still doing your last minute Christmas shopping and have about ten grand to drop, then have a look at Fred Barton Productions for life size reproductions of Hollywood's most famous robots.

If I had a big enough house, I'd have the whole set lined up in the specially designed corridor leading to my office.

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Elementary

New York Times headline:
The Giant Rat of Sumatra, Alive and Well
Doctor Watson was unavailable for comment.

Another Nail

Comedienne Jennifer Saunders is in talks to play Doctor Who in a one-off episode; the first time a woman has been cast in the role (not counting parodies).

According to the Sun,
TV bosses are keen to get a woman on board the Tardis for one of those shows.
Translation: We want fans of the show to know that we have no artistic integrity, we hold the character and format and their history in contempt, and that there is no depth to which we will not stoop for cheap, trendy "shock" value wherein we demonstrate nothing more profound than that we cannot differentiate between shock and flat-out bad taste. Oh, and we hate you all, too.

Monday, 17 December 2007

Design Flaw

This picture defines "back to the drawing board."

Dhimmitude in Minnesota

A tale of a Minnesota community college's "meditation room" morphing into a mosque complete with sex-segregated areas, literature that describes Christians and Jews as "enemies of Allah" and a college administration that refuses to investigate what it would never allow any other religion to do.

"Tolerance" is now synonymous with "cowardice", it seems.

The Mask Slips


A quote from Mayer Hillman, senior fellow emeritus at the Policy Studies Institute regarding global warming:
When the chips are down I think democracy is a less important goal than is the protection of the planet from the death of life, the end of life on it. This has got to be imposed on people whether they like it or not.
It isn't often that the true face of these jumped-up little eco-Stalins is revealed so nakedly.

Sunday, 16 December 2007

Happy Birthday, Sir Arthur


Sir Arthur C. Clarke turns 90 today.

Sends video message telling kids to get off his lawn.

Tipped

The Spanish (Socialist) Economy Minister urges Spaniards not to tip too much.

Spanish waiters tell the Economy Minister what he can do with his urgings.

Saturday, 15 December 2007

The Shadow Strikes


Were you bitterly disappointed by the 1994 version of The Shadow?

It could have been worse-- Far, far worse.

Thursday, 13 December 2007

Referendum? What Referendum

Gordon Brown signs the new EU constitution treaty. Joins fellow "leaders" in simultaneously giving away the shop and the people two fingers.

Zeppelin vs Pterodactyls

Back in the 1970s, Hammer Films planned a sci fi spic called Zeppelin vs Pterodactyls. Now, thanks to the wonder of the Internet, we have that long-lost film.

Kind of. Sort of. Not really. It's fun anyhow.








Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Vanishing Britons

The good news: British birth rates are above the replacement level.

The bad news: The British aren't the ones doing the breeding.

This century may see something historically unique happening in Britain and Europe; an entire civilisation quietly ceding its lands, its economy, its culture and its legacy to an alien people by default. Not through war or conquest, but through nothing more complicated than pure apathy and an unwillingness on the part of the people to perpetuate themselves.

Tuesday, 11 December 2007

Evolving News

BBC headline:
Human evolution is 'speeding up'
Prof. Xavier was unavailable for comment.

Three NEW Sections

Tales of Future Past proudly announces no less than THREE NEW sections:
Enjoy!

Chavez Losing It


Hugo Chavez has decreed that Venezuela's time zone will now be half an hour out of sync with her neighbours.

He'll be ordering everyone to wear their underwear on the outside pretty soon.

Monday, 10 December 2007

Man in Space With Sounds

Over at Heino und Jerry in Uber Space you can listen to the "supersonic" soundtrack that played in the famous Bubbleator at the 1962 Seattle World's Fair.

This is a wonderful example of Future Past and I'm not just including it because I find the title of the track "Gayway to Heaven" somewhat ironic, given Seattle's current reputation in the sexual identity stakes.

Sunday, 9 December 2007

Red Snow

Dark Roasted Blend has a look at great Soviet snow machines.

We are deep in Thunderbirds territory here.

Saturday, 8 December 2007

Deep Hurting


To celebrate the opening of the Future Cinema, we present a special double feature: Century 21 Calling and The Space Children-- the MST3K versions, of course.

Friday, 7 December 2007

The Clue Phone is Ringing

Baltimore Sun headline:
Never so few veterans as now to remember Pearl Harbor day
Now why do you suppose that is, Sherlock?

Squirrel Armour

How to tell if you have way too much free time.

Made in Britain

One of the ironies of the Jihadists is that on the one hand they are spilling blood left, right and centre to impose a hopelessly puritanical society on the whole of humanity, yet the Jihadists in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere are notorious for their drinking, drug taking, and whoring wherever they hold power.
Some of these men will admit they were insurgents who switched sides because they realized that they are more likely to get what they want with a stable government. Al Qaeda promised them everything under the baking sun, yet al Qaeda killed people who smoked—and Iraqis like to smoke. They killed people who had satellite dishes or televisions, but al Qaeda would be drinking and with prostitutes. Iraqis have told me some interesting anecdotes about the religious technicalities of prostitution. They are not supposed to have sex out of wedlock, so they marry the prostitute (and the house of ill-repute has the proper religious authority present to make the marriage), and then they divorce the prostitute after completing their business. Another rumor in the area is that al Qaeda tried to force shepherds to make their female sheep wear underwear.


The frightening thing about this is that it gives a better insight into the mind of Jihadist recruits in Britain and Europe better than all the blather about disaffection, foreign policy and the like. According to Mary Jackson at The New English Review, it isn't a question of potential Islamofascists rejecting Western culture, but of assimilating only the worst parts of it.

Don’t mess with us, they say. We know our rights. For Britain, once home to the stiff-upper lip, now has a rights culture. And British Muslims scream “Islamophobia” if they don’t get their rights: the right to special food or clothing in schools, the right to be spared any kind of real or imagined offense, the right to a job – on their terms, however unreasonable - and above all the right to welfare payments, which they receive in disproportionately high numbers.

These demands, this sense of entitlement, should worry us far more than niqabs, gangsta rap, or even drugs. Welfare scrounging is not peculiar to Muslims, but Islam alone demands tribute from non-believers in the form of a special tax or jizya. This “right” is set out in the Koran, as part of the rules of jihad. Muslim scrounging is an act of jihad, and payment of benefits an act of dhimmitude.
Or, as Mark Steyn put it:
More than three years ago, I wrote about the "tournante" or "take your turn" -- the gang rape that's become an adolescent rite of passage in the Muslim quarters of French cities - and similar phenomena throughout the West: "Multiculturalism means that the worst attributes of Muslim culture - the subjugation of women -- combine with the worst attributes of Western culture -- licence and self-gratification. Tattooed, pierced Pakistani skinhead gangs swaggering down the streets of northern England areas are as much a product of multiculturalism as the turban-wearing Sikh Mountie in the vice-regal escort." Islamofascism itself is what it says: a fusion of Islamic identity with old-school European totalitarianism. But, whether in turbans or gangsta threads, just as Communism was in its day, so Islam is today's ideology of choice for the world's disaffected.
One of the disturbing truths of this war is that the real threat is not the enemy without or the enemy within, but the brutal fact that in a war of ideologies the West has ceded so much ground without a shot being fired. In a single generation we have dismantled so many of our vital institutions; spurned so many traditions; rejected high culture until only the transient ephemera of pop remains, turned our back on the faith of our fathers to the point where Christianity is often treated as something disreputable; swapped virtues for "values"; exalted the material, the carnal and the perverse without a moments reflection on what that means; sneered at innocence as naiveté; made chastity into a joke; promoted the most graphic of violence as entertainment in a manner that would give Caligula pause; championed tolerance above all else until it becomes an instrument of intolerance, divided race against race and sex against sex in the name of equality; and wallowed in irony until it has seeped into our souls that it is little wonder that so many second generation Muslims in the Britain and Europe grow up to be 7th century fanatics with 21st century vices or that even after six years of war we are still so ill prepared against these monsters. When you yourself reject the best and what is decent that your culture has to offer, don't be surprised if those that come after only assimilate the worst.

I was thinking about this the other day when I was getting ready to post the new Future Cinema section. So many of the films there have been dismissed in recent decades as "propaganda" and "Utopian" and (worst of all modern sins) "naive", but having reviewed a number of them over recent days, the conclusion I have come to is that, whatever their faults, our fathers and grandfathers lived in a time when people were given armour to protect them as plain, yet as strong as that of the first Crusaders, while ours provides us with gaudy crepe costumes that couldn't protect us against a cold east wind.

That allusion? It's from "An Epilogue of Sherlock Holmes" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, which end with this from Holmes:
There’s an east wind coming all the same, such a wind as never blew on England yet. It will be cold and bitter, Watson, and a good many of us may wither before its blast. But it’s God’s own wind none the less, and a cleaner, better, stronger land will lie in the sunshine when the storm has cleared.
That was in 1916 and that wind ended up blowing for a generation and beyond. I wonder how we will fare against this one.

Thursday, 6 December 2007

For the Man Who Has Everything

For the would-be Green Lantern on your Christmas list, we suggest this Power Ring complete with Battery.

Sadly, it's only a replica, but still...

Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Cats in Space


Finally, the space programme is paying off.

Islamofascist Paintball

From the Times:

The BBC funded a paintballing trip for men later accused of Islamic terrorism and failed to pass on information about the 21/7 bombers to police, a court was told yesterday.

Mohammed Hamid, who is charged with overseeing a two-year radicalisation programme to prepare London-based Muslim youths for jihad, was described as a “cockney comic” by a BBC producer.

The BBC paid for Mr Hamid and fellow defendants Muhammad al-Figari and Mousa Brown to go on a paintballing trip at the Delta Force centre in Tonbridge, Kent, in February 2005. The men, accused of terrorism training, were filmed for a BBC programme called Don’t Panic, I’m Islamic, screened in June 2005.

If this is how the BBC handles the war, I think I will panic, thank you very much.

Jet Hypocrisy

Seattle Post Intelligencer headline:
More than 10,000 jet into Bali for global warming conference
The irony of this is that those who are doing the jetting don't see any irony in it. That's because the restrictions and rationing that they're advocating are for us, not for them.

Remember: Peasantry is just another word for Green.

NEW! Future Cinema

Tales of Future Past proudly presents its newest section:

Future Cinema

Christianophobia & Phantom Turkeys

It had to happen. A Westminster debate over "Christianophobia" has recently concluded without this neologism being struck from the record nor the person who coined it being run out of town on a rail.

In related idiocy, the Conservative MP Mark Pritchard said,
Taking Christ out of Christmas is like serving the Christmas turkey without the stuffing.
Actually, it's more like serving the Christmas turkey without the turkey and pretending that it's still on the platter.