News you can use

Apparently, the correct way to defend yourself against crocodiles is to stick your thumb in its eye, while for tigers the correct procedure is to use a wooden soup ladle to apply a sound beating about the head and shoulders.

Personally, I prefer to employ solutions that involve large bullets discharged at a very high rate of fire.

Allah: Off Limits to Dhimmis

Remember that bishop who said that Christians should start referring to God as "Allah" to smooth things over with Muslims?

Malaysia responded by making it illegal.

Damned if you do, etc.