Wednesday 3 December 2008

Cassandra Crossing

When Barack "He whose middle name may not be uttered" Obama was elected I had a private reservation that it would mark a resurgence of Jihadist attacks. Wanting to give the benefit of the doubt, I kept this pretty much to myself (i.e. my immediate family and anyone in shouting distance down the pub), but events in Bombay moved faster than I'd expected. I'd thought the Jihadists would at least wait until Mr. Bush left office, though Iowahawk claims the whole thing is a mix up.
(Ajmal Ami) Kasab, who is personally suspected of killing over 30 victims at point-blank range in a posh Mumbai hotel, was at a loss to explain how he and other members of the terrorist assault team remained unaware of the historic U.S. election results that many American analysts predicted would lead to an immediate and permanent outbreak of rapturous harmony and transcendent brotherly love throughout the universe.

"Jeez, I'm... I don't know, I just never got any kind of memo," said Kasab. "The ironic thing is that just the other day, when we were ritually shaving our testicles for final martyrdom, a bunch of us were talking about how great and symbolic it would be if the American infidels would only elect an handsome, articulate young African-American infidel. That way we could just lay down the suicide belts and scimitars and suitcase nukes and finally get involved in the positive aspects of community activism, like raising awareness for breast cancer research. Look, I know it's a cliche to point fingers at the IT department, but our email system really sucks. And it's hard to find a decent wi-fi hot spot in Northwest Pakistan."

Now we find this little gem of comfort:

The United States can expect a terrorist attack using nuclear or more likely biological weapons before 2013, reports a bipartisan commission in a study being briefed Tuesday to Vice President-elect Joe Biden.

And then there's Iran, where Mr. Obama has promised to hold direct talks with the Mullahs:

Intelligence estimates indicate that Iran is producing 2.5 kilograms of additional enriched uranium daily, officials say. Do the math, and you'll see that Iran may amass enough low-enriched uranium to have the capacity to make a weapon by the end of 2009.

"Change" is on it's way one way or the other.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just out of curiosity, are you going to keep on using that 'he whose middle name may not be uttered' thing for much longer?

Seems like it could get old.

A bit like the Sarah Connor stuff, the INGSOC logo and the endless repetition of 'x call your service' jokes.

Just saying.