Mini Seven

Where was this when The Prisoner aired back in the '60s?  I could have spent my Saturdays blazing down the road as I glared ahead with steely resolve.  I did that anyway, but the effect isn't the same on a push bike.

Mind you, I can't even afford a Lotus 7 as a grown up, so what am I complaining about?

Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

The Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab from 1952. If this had still been available 15 years later, I'd have been the only kid in the sixth form with a hydrogen bomb.

Zero M

Seeing as MI5 was defending the rest of the free world, it was up to me and other like minded lads back in the '60s to defend Yorkshire against the ravening hordes of Communist agents and general supervillainy. Not that we did so unarmed. Thanks to the Mattel corporation, we had a formidable arsenal at our disposal, such as the radio rifle and coder pen,



The Movie Shot machine gun,



The devastating Sonic Blaster,



And when all else fails, go for the nuclear strike with the Johnny Seven.



It's a wonder anyone survived my childhood

Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25

The kids will NEVER go on my lawn again!

$100 Slinky

Put down the credit card and step away from the keyboard.

Now.

Hello, Kitty "For-Men"

The Japanese are giving Hello, Kitty a more "macho" to appeal to "young men".

I don't think they've thought this one through.

G. I. Joe and the Memory Hole

G. I. Joe (or Action Man as I knew him in my boyhood) is to finally be relieved of the unbearable burden of being an American. According to Variety:

G. I. Joe is now a Brussels-based outfit that stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international co-ed force of operatives who use hi-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil organization headed by a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer.

He works out of Belgium and he fights evil Scotsmen? Fair enough. It's not as if we're at war or anything.

Or as if G. I. Joe was ever a real person.

Robokitty

And now from NEC and Futaba Industrial Company comes the Hello Kitty Robo. It has face recognition, voice recognition, chats, plays games, and hunts for Sarah Connor.

It also costs $6300 dollars and as my daughter's fifth birthday is coming up, I'd appreciate it if nobody told her about the thing.

Major Matt Mason

The Mattel toy company's contribution to the Space Race.

I didn't have one of these, but a friend of mine did. Am I bitter? No, of course not. What makes you think that?

Little bastard!