RESULT!!!

Ireland rejects the EU constitution Lisbon treaty.

Now maybe the cursed thing can stay dead.

Update: Keeping to form, the BBC's report on the referendum doesn't quote the winning side until paragraph 17.

Smoking Irony

You there! Put that out! Don't you know that smoking is banned? Oh, it's cannabis? That's all right then.

Robopong

Because the hunt for Sarah Connor leaves no stone unturned.

100 Years of Seeping

The teabag is 100 years old.

And I know the hotel in Blackpool that's still using it.

Cyborg Cows

This is just getting bleedin' weird.

I'm Not Touching You

Intel develops a robotic hand that uses electrolocation to give it a sense of "pre-touch".

This allows it to a) grasp objects with more certainty and b) to bug the hell out of people on long road trips.

Ralph 142c41+, Call Your Service

Thanet Earth: 220 acres of Kent glassed over to form one enormous greenhouse.

Some say that it was inspired by Buckminster Fuller, though I suspect that Hugo Gernsback is closer to the mark.

Screwed

A city's architecture sends a message about the place.

The Chicago Spire's is obvious.

Shadow Home Secretary Resigns

Mr. David Davis, the shadow home secretary, has resigned from the House of Commons in order to force a by-election on the issue of the government's proposed 42 day detention bill.

As regular readers know, I'm a firm believer in taking the war to the Jihadists fast, hard & often, but I'm with Mr. Davis in opposing the 42 day detention idea–not because I think it's too harsh or unjust, but because New Labour refuses to recognise that we are, in fact, at war and this detention power would be used against anyone who comes under the heading of "terrorism", which is a tactic and not an enemy. The difference between Mr. Davis and myself is that if the detention was explicitly aimed at Jihadists and their supporters I'd have no qualms with it.

Robo Street Artist

A robot that carves people's likenesses out of Styrofoam.

Why do I have the terrible feeling that I'm going to be seeing this down the market flogging portraits to tourists?

Otto-Bench

It's an Ottoman! It's a workout bench! It's incredibly heavy and hell to shift!

I get tired just looking at it.

Ingsoc Canada

One of the tropes of science fiction involves fugitives from a future fascist American police state fleeing over the border to a free Canada. Now, thanks to a Canadian Human Rights Commission that operates like a star chamber, it looks as though the flow is more likely to be in reverse.

Mind you, if The New York Times has its way, there might not be any place to go.

Call of the Manbearpig

Global warming? A new ice age? We know where the real threat lies.

I'm totally cereal.

Lumeneo Smera

The Lumeno Smera; not bad for a two-seater tandem electric with a nose-bleeding starting price tag of $31,000. My only fear is that if I bought one, not only would the neighbour's Rottweiler be able to catch me, but that he'd carry me off car and all for a suitable burial.

Coming Attractions

From orbital fuel depots to electric solar sails; what's coming next in space technology.

Nuclear drive still sitting on the same back burner as that cancer cure.

Lace Up The Engine, Min

From the Spike Milligan school of automotive design, BMW creates a motor car out of cloth.

I'd like a Land Rover Series IIa in a nice herringbone tweed, please.

Why I Telecommute Part MMMCLXIV

The eNook Pro.

Not so much a workstation as a kiosk.

Solar Power Outage

The Sun is supposed to be entering a new phase of activity, but is two years late. According to Saku Tsuneta with the National Astronomical Observatory of Japan,

It continues to be dead,. It's a small concern, a very small concern.

Um... I've got some jumper cables, if that's any help.

Too Much Time On Their Hands

McMundo (sic) (I think they mean McMurdo) base in the Antarctic, which has a winter crew of 125, has accepted a shipment of 16,500 condoms.

Shouldn't they be out looking for the city of the Elder Things or something?

Amend or Else

Pakistan has sent a delegation to the EU demanding requesting that freedom of expression be abolished restricted. According to a report in Pakistan's Daily Times:

The delegation, headed by an additional secretary of the Interior Ministry, will meet the leaders of the EU countries in a bid to convince them that the recent attack on the Danish Embassy in Pakistan could be a reaction against the blasphemous campaign, sources said.

They said that the delegation would also tell the EU that if such acts against Islam are not controlled, more attacks on the EU diplomatic missions abroad could not be ruled out.

Let us hope that this is merely poorly worded journalism. Otherwise, this smacks of being an ultimatum.

Tommy is a Whinger

The actor Rupert Everett has this take on the modern British soldier (emphasis added):

The whole point of being in the Army is wanting to get killed, wanting to test yourself to the limits. Now you have to fly 15,000 feet above the war zone to avoid getting hit.

I don't think there is any point in having wars if that's how you're going to behave. It's pathetic. All this whining!

Looks like someone isn't going on the ENSA tour.

Roboshepherd

Australia is investigating how to use robot helicopters to herd cattle.

Carl the Cattle Dog and Little Ann the Australian Shepherd lodge official protest.

Strikerette

Tsk. All those '50s sci-fi stories where the author shows us that we're in the future by having the hero pull out a fag and strike it alight turn out to be vintage 1931.

Robert Heinlein, why have you forsaken us?

Petraflop Barrier Breached

IBM's "Roadrunner" computer at Los Alamos has achieved an unprecedented one quadrillion operations per second.

At 2:14 AM it became self-aware.

$100 Laptop Mark II

The next generation $100 laptop; all screen and no physical keyboard.

It's being touted as what your laptop will look like in five years, but us touch typists will probably stick with the old clicking keys.

Iron Man II

EI brings you this incredible preview of the Iron Man sequel. Unfortunately, I suspect a tad smaller budget and for some odd reason Morton Downey Jr. has been replaced with John Vernon.

Tip o' the hat to Dial B for Blog.

Crab Stressing

It's fun, it's easy, so, of course, it has the local council up in arms.

Besides, cow tipping is so last millennium.

Sans Trident

Two Royal Navy warships have been on active duty for nearly seven months without their primary armament aboard in a "cost-cutting measure".

This is the reason why I support the Royal Navy being completely refitted with nuclear-powered ships armed with the latest in laser and particle beam weaponry–so the b******s at the MoD can't leave them dead in the water by skimping on fuel and ammunition.

Foot Power

Britain is looking into ways to using pedestrian footsteps to generate electricity.

This reminds me of an idea I had years ago for using methane to power the university campus, but that was rejected as it would have meant changing the student dress code to kilts and infringing on the personal freedoms of first-year students.

Melon Record

A melon sold at auction in Japan for ¥650,000.

That had better be one good melon.

Office in a Box

The Swiss Army Knife of workstations.

As depressing as it is efficient.

CPR Torch

In the close-but-no-cigar department we have the LED torch that gives you basic CPR instructions at the touch of a button. Not bad, but if you have enough forethought to carry one of these around, then surely you'd have enough to take a decent first aid class.

Now if they put this function into something the average person carries around all the time, like a cell phone or butane-powered soldering iron, then you might have something.

A Correction

Golden Sahara II

The Golden Sahara II from 1962; a car of the future with no less than three different ways to steer it, so you'll always be properly confused.



Still, I can't help feeling that I've seen this car somewhere before.

I Was Wondering About This

In breaking news, giraffes have been declared kosher.

My local deli is going to need a bigger display case.

Roboswarm

Inventor says that these robots won't take over the world.

Sarah Connor snorts derisively.

Alpaca Vs. Fox

We have quite a number of alpaca farms near Chez Szondy. Maybe that's the reason we don't see any foxes.

Idiot of the Year Entry

Take a weed whacker, add a bicycle wheel, throw in a pair of roller skates and Voilà!; you win a trip to the Stoke Mandeville intensive care ward.

And here's one we made earlier.

One Of Those Days

Okay, we're ashore, we're safe, the sharks didn't get us and... Oh, crap.

Oxygen Bars

I'm not surprised at the existence of bars that sell oxygen. I am, however, disappointed that the twits gullible enough to part with their dosh for a whiff of O₂ never come knocking on my door.

Bushaltestelle

When is a bus stop not a bus stop?

When it's an OAP trap.

Health Care Cuba

Raul Castro: "Free sex change operations"

Fidel Castro; 'BRAAAAIIIIIINNNNSSSS!!!"

Revenge of the Creature

From the halcyon days when scientists could declare martial law.



And now, something to cleanse the palate.



Part II.

Bonfire of the Insanities

Greg Nickels, the mayor of Seattle, having decided that only his city has the power to placate Blessed Gaia and Save the Planet™, has turned his baleful eye via the Park Department upon another global warming threat; beach bonfires.

This is rather on a par with a recent comment that there is no point in New Zealand meeting its Kyoto targets because if the entire country sank into the sea the effect this would have on the climate would be precisely zero. So it is in Mr. Nickel's own little world. Seattle gets almost all of its power from hydroelectric plants and the largest local carbon emitter is a cement works, so the city is about as "green" as you can get already, however Mr. Nickels has never heard of the law of diminishing returns or that Seattle is a city rather than a nation the size of China, which means that his efforts are on a par with Seattle being a suburb of Christchurch going beneath the waves. In this equation, beach fires rate somewhere around rotting seaweed in CO₂ production.

Standby for this sort of logic being taken to its conclusion when the sale of cabbage is banned to cut down on farting.

Lightning Guns

Not bad, but it still has a way to go before it can hold a candle to the electro-ray tank.

Le Hamster Français

Ah, the European Commission; a selfless body dedicated to promoting free trade and peaceful understanding between sovereign nations–unless you refuse to follow its diktats to the letter regarding hamster preservation, in which case they'll come down on you like a bag of hammers.

Galaxy Map

For the really, really lost.

Sheep Farts

New Zealand scientists find cure for sheep flatulence.

We asked for one for cancer, but this will have to do.

Doctors' Daughter

Science has decreed that marrying first cousins in now hunky dory, but what about an actor dating his television daughter who is also the real-life daughter of another actor who played the first actor's television character previously.

My brain hurts.

Hillbilly Science

Australian scientists proclaim that it's okay for first cousins to procreate.

This is why we don't let scientists decide issues of morality.

Vidblogging

Conversion is a One-Way Street

Rod Liddle weighs in on the recent flap in where a "community support officer" (the worst idea in the history of law enforcement) threatened to arrest two Christian evangelicals for trying to preach the gospel in Birmingham:

You may argue that the policeman was merely trying to keep the peace — in which case, we might as well say that Alum Rock Road is, in a serious sense, no longer a part of Britain, no longer under central jurisdiction. Like it or not — and believe me, West Midlands police do not like it one bit — Alum Rock Road is now a no-go area for proselytising Christians; perhaps it has been for some time. But now it is a no-go area officially, according to the local police force — unless they do something about it, quickly.

If this state of affairs is not reversed quickly and decisively, then the government will now have to explain how immigration has become colonisation and why they are colluding in it.

Upgrade Woes

I'm installing a new computer to replace the five-year old laptop I've been relying on and, like most things at Chez Szondy, this simple phrase hides a frightening story.

It was bad enough when I ordered the thing only to learn that after the company in question (which I will not name, though it rhymes with bell) trousered the money and then put a "hold" for the exact same amount, which left me in Canada with half my current account suddenly unavailable. I didn't think they could top this, but they did by arranging to deliver it yesterday during the only brief time I was not home and five minutes before I returned and with the promise that it will be delivered today in the pouring rain. No doubt at such a time and in such a manner as to give Little Ann, the younger of our two dogs, time to eat an entire PC and monitor.

Then there is the deal that I made with the wife that if we could tweak the budget enough to get a new computer we would swap around the bedroom and the office, which involves much lifting, carrying, unscrewing, dismantling, reassembling, rescrewing with a lot of dusting, wiping, hoovering, painting, steam cleaning and general mucking about as one can imagine and which has no prospect of actually being completed any time in the near future, so I look forward to the prospect of spending the next fortnight being unable to leave the house because I can't find my trousers. Even my wife, whose idea this was, had second thoughts–actually, a full-blown panic attack at two AM, but she wisely decided not to wake me because my reaction would have been predictable, to put it mildly.

Not that the representatives of homo sapiens have all the rough of it. We moved the bed last night, the underside of which is Carl the Cattle Dog's place of refuge from an uncertain world and he found himself faced with a unique situation; unwelcome change and no place to hide from it. Even after we put the bed back together again Carl was still in a state of shock and spent the night curled up hard against the back of my knees.

And this is all just on the furniture moving front. Wait until I get to moving getting all the electronics moved and sorted out.

I've allocated plenty of wailing and gnashing of teeth time.

Update: Please welcome the Zen 7000; designation for the latest edition of the the Zen network at Chez Szondy. Now for oodles of installing and configuring.

Hug a Jihadist

I thought it was a sign of pure moral cowardice when the British government decided to pretend that the Jiahdist War was a police matter and started turning the screws on the general public to the point where anti-terrorism laws were used to spy on illicit dog poo, but it's now clear that it's a case of New Labour being barking mad. What other conclusion can there be when the next bright idea is not to lock up Jihadists, but to give them therapy to "de-radicalise" them.

Bear in mind that this is not Room 101 style political re-education that you or I would receive under "hate crime" legislation if we offended the tender sensibilities of some Anti-Semitic imam who calls on the Faithful every Friday to commit mass murder. We're taking something more along the lines of a nice cup of tea and some sympathetic chat. This will cost, by the bye, £12.5 million.

I do wish that someone would point out to Gordon Brown et al that the Jihadists are the baddies.

Death Throes

From The Telegraph:

The notion that Big Government (whether in the central or the local form) could solve all social problems, and through its interventions achieve absolute justice and harmony, is collapsing. And in its last moments, in its disbelief and agony at its own failure, it is lashing out in every direction: if the earlier measures haven't dealt with crime/public disorder/anti-social behaviour/under-performing hospitals/insufficient recycling, we must add yet more layers of official interference.

If government fails to achieve its objectives, it must be because it isn't doing enough, isn't being sufficiently pro-active - so let's pass another law, bring in a further layer of intrusion, take away another dimension of personal responsibility from community life.

But somehow, everything that government does makes things worse: leads to more perverse consequences and unforeseen complications. And the panic increases and the desperation grows and we get yet more laws and rules and targets and misapplied regulations.

Seems to me that our choices are a return to sanity or run like hell when the facade collapses.

Lord Summerisle, Call Your Service

The Bishop of Stratford places global-warming "deniers" on the same moral plane as Austrian child-abusers who commit kidnapping and rape of their own families over a period of decades.

Good to see that the church is getting away from all that gospel of Christ nonsense in favour of some good old fashioned worship of Blessed Gaia.

Germs

The easy to carry Zadro Nano UV Disinfection Scanner; because germs are everywhere.

Everywhere.

Everywhere.

The Loophole

A prominent gun control advocate in Britain is stabbed to death by her grandson.

When the tragic meets the ironic by way of the obvious.

Moving Target

111 countries have signed a treaty agreeing to ban cluster bombs at the very moment that the United States, who are not a party, have come up with a kinetic system that does the same job without explosives and, therefore, isn't subject to the ban.

It works something like this:

All the advantages with none of the drawbacks and it annoys the hell out of the disarmament crowd. What more could you want?

The Adventures of Robin Hood

I'm in Canada at the moment, so I'm leaving you in the capable hands of Sir Robin of Locksley.

This should put that BBC crybaby to shame.

Horror Express

I've known people to chew their own legs off rather than sit through this one.