Time to Wake Up, Sir

I've at last found what I truly want for my birthday. VOCO.uk.com have come out with an alarm clock in neo-classical design that dispenses with the traditional bells or raucous buzzer in favour of Mr. Stephen Fry coaxing one awake with the tones of a well-trained valet in any one of fifty different messages.

I don't know whether this will be any more effective in drawing me from the arms of Morpheus, but a clock that coughs politely and addresses me as "sir" would no doubt touch my conscience sufficiently to avoid my sending it to join its fellows by hurling the offending timepiece violently against the far wall to shatter into scattered fragments glinting in the feeble traces of dawn's rosy fingers.