Lesson Learned

Proving once again that the "courage" of the artistic community does not apply when actual courage is required, a feminist author in India has agreed to censor her latest book in hopes that the Jihadists will allow her to "live peacefully."

Good luck with that.

School of Dhimmitude

Muslims in Khartoum demonstrated how Islam is the "Religion of Peace" by taking to the streets with clubs and swords to demand that the British schoolteacher who allowed her students to name their teddy bear "Mohammed" be put to death.

The only thing more reprehensible than this display of barbarism is the fifteen-day sentence that the schoolteacher received in what was obviously a compromise between Whitehall and the Sudanese government instead of the more reliable policy of telling Sudan to release the woman immediately and with a full apology or face the modern equivalent of a gunboat and five rounds rapid.

Clearly Mr. Brown will be learning the old, hard lesson that when dealing with oriental barbarians the only solid course of action is to confront and humiliate them so that their provocations of civilised peoples are laid bare as nothing more than a path to defeat and shame. Instead, he has made Britain to appear the weak horse and has made her people more vulnerable.

Hostage Situation

Seattle mayor Greg Nickels shows the "caring" side of the environmentalist movement and does a marvellous impression of the Grinch:

A grim Christmas message for kids from the mayor of Seattle. Greg Nickels told small children he's launching "Operation Save Santa" to protect the big guy from global warming. At a Christmas tree lighting, Nickels warned the kids they had to use energy efficient light bulbs, or climate change could melt the North Pole --- and drown Santa, his elves and all his reindeer.

Translation: Submit to my policies or the fat guy gets it.

Another Nail

Local authorities in Britain are considering banning traditional stiles and gates because they are not "accessible to the disabled."

Next up, all mountains will be levelled and the seas shall be planked over.

The Return

As a writer, I've always been impressed with short stories and films done well. Here we see Johnny Vegas and the P G Tips Monkey doing a complete narrative in under two minutes. This is especially impressive, given that one of the actors is a sock puppet.

Walking Machine

Looks like they're finally starting to catch up.

Futuro For Sale

Mark you calendars, because one of the few surviving examples of the infamous Futuro house is up for sale in Paris on 27 November.

Yes, for as little as $220,222 you too can enjoy uncomfortable moulded furnishings, a cramped kitchen, too-low windows and all the privacy of the third-class waiting room at Waterloo station.

But it's (or was) the FUTURE!

Shadow Riots

Paris is again burning as "youths" attack policemen and set cars alight.

As per form, the BBC shows its hard-hitting get-to-the-bottom-of-things journalism by stalwartly refusing to identify the "youths" in any way shape or form; including running a series of photos that make it appear as if the riots are being conducted by invisible men.

What We Face

A British schoolteacher in the Sudan faces six months in jail or forty lashes for naming a teddy bear "Muhammad."

Just a little reminder of what dhimmitude looks like.

A Darwin Moment

Lord Summerisle was unavailable for comment.

A profile of a woman who took environmentalism to its logical extreme by having an abortion and sterlising herself because of a revelation she had at the age of fifteen:

I realised then that a baby would pollute the planet - and that never having a child was the most environmentally friendly thing I could do.

On the bright side, this sort of eco-dottiness is quickly self-correcting, since for all her self-righteous posturing all she's doing is surrendering the world to someone else's children.

Planet Outlaws

Your Saturday sci fi feature: Planet Outlaws.

Slight Error

This is London headline:

Brussels wants to scrap labels saying 'Made in Britain'

Translation:

Brussels wants to scrap labels saying 'Made in Britain'

A Hero For Our Times

A Middlesborough man has declined counselling after his wheelie bin was stolen.

Such men of iron are rare these days.

Jor El, Call Your Service

The above is what architect Ken Shuttleworth's plans to build next to Christopher Wren's monument to the Great Fire of London.

Thrift, Horatio. Now you can visit both the Monument and the Kryptonian embassy at one go.

Happy Thanksgiving

It's Thanksgiving here in the United States, so I'm off for some quality family time and poultry overload.

Turkey Ten

The letters to the editor column in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer included this self-consciously cute "top ten" list from a vegetarian who clearly has been watching far too much David Letterman. It just ached for a fisking

10. You will pardon a turkey - just like President Bush, but for the right reasons.

Except the the presidential turkey is still alive while mine will be dead whether I pardon it or not. Is the bird supposed to spring like Lazarus from the supermarket deep freeze?

9. You'll celebrate life and good fortune, rather than death and misfortune.

Um... The bird is dead already, so the point is moot. And if the alternative is nut cutlets, I fail to see where the "good fortune" comes into the picture.

8. You won't suffer nightmares about how the turkey lived and died.

Don't now. Won't ever. Even if the shade of my departed feast showed up at midnight decked out like Marley's Ghost complete with chains, it would still be a turkey, which has the inherent fear factor of an overstuffed pigeon.

7. You won't have to call the Poultry Hotline to keep your family alive.

Not since I grasped that whole germ theory thing. The only threat a turkey will have to my family's life is if it's a killer cyborg turkey from the future hunting Sarah Connor. And that hasn't happened to me more than a couple of times.

6. You won't have to sweat the saturated fat and cholesterol.

I don't know what you do, but I generally sweat sweat.

5. Your vegetarian friends will adore you.

Oh, I'm really looking forward to that!

4. Your kids will tell their friends about their cool "tofurky."

The school bullies are really looking forward to that.

3. You won't fall asleep during the football game.

My napping habits are my own affair.

2. You are what you eat. Who wants to be a "butterball"?

Vegetarians in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

1. Commercial turkeys are too fat to have sex. Could happen to you.

And vegetarians are too... No, it's too easy a shot.

A Suggestion

It's Thanksgiving in the States tomorrow and if you are still trying to sort out your menu, my friend here would like to make a suggestion.

Dhimmitude in the Art World

The utter moral fraudulence of modern art revealed:

Britain’s contemporary artists are fêted around the world for their willingness to shock but fear is preventing them from tackling Islamic fundamentalism. Grayson Perry, the cross-dressing potter, Turner Prize winner and former Times columnist, said that he had consciously avoided commenting on radical Islam in his otherwise highly provocative body of work because of the threat of reprisals.

Perry also believes that many of his fellow visual artists have also ducked the issue, and one leading British gallery director told The Times that few major venues would be prepared to show potentially inflammatory works.

“I’ve censored myself,” Perry said at a discussion on art and politics organised by the Art Fund. “The reason I haven’t gone all out attacking Islamism in my art is because I feel real fear that someone will slit my throat.”

Anytime an "artist" starts bleating on about "speaking truth to power", "pushing the envelope", being "transgressive" and how "courageous" they are, feel free to respond with slow, sarcastic clapping.

Bat Bombs & Others

Well, they seemed like a good idea at the time.

Rat's Milk

From the Telegraph:

Drink rats' milk, says Heather Mills

You first.