Blooming Bidet

What's more frightening than a bidet?

A remote controlled bidet.

Toilet House

Sim Jae-duck, South Korea's Mr. Toilet, has built a house shaped like a water closet.

Tragedy struck killing 27 people at the housewarming when one of the guests asked "what's this lever for?" and flushed the entire place.

Evil; Pure Evil

A toilet that hides itself away as a decorative cabinet when not in use.

I can imagine myself encountering one of these Hunt-The-Karzis at a dinner party as the curried lentils start to assault my colon. The volley of cursing that ensued would scorch the wallpaper black.

But Will It Replace The Horse-Drawn Zeppelin ?

Looking for a gift for the man on the go? Then look no further than a jet-propelled kharzi.

Toilet Totalitarianism

Thing of Evil!

The Kimberly Clark company has developed a toilet paper dispenser that gives out no more than FIVE SHEETS to a customer. No doubt they will call it the Sheryl Crow model.

I'll get the torches, you get the pitchforks, and we'll pick up the tar and feathers on the way.

The Nightmare

You're aboard an All Nippon Airways Boeing 787 Dreamliner flying at 50,000 feet. You're over the Pacific ocean a thousand miles from anywhere. Nature calls and you casually, but quickly walk to the convenience only to be confronted by this where the toilet should be.

Sweet Mother of God! I'll wake up any moment. I've got to wake up. I've GOT TO!

Sigmund Freud, Call Your Service

And now, from the Land of the Rising Sun (and very likely the Sirus Cybernetics Corporation) comes a water closet that not only keeps track of your toilet habits so that it can "serve" you better, but, God help us all, sings to you as well.

I suspect that this is the default tune:

Share and Enjoy
Share and Enjoy
Journey through life
With a plastic boy
Or Girl by your side
Let your pal be your guide
And when it breaks down
Or starts to annoy
Or grinds when it moves
And gives you no joy
Cos it's eaten your hat
Or had sex with your cat
Bled oil on your floor
Or ripped off your door
You get to the point
You can't stand any more
Bring it to us, we won't give a fig
We'll tell you,
'Go stick your head in a pig'.

Wipe Out

Sheryl Crow on Saving the Planet:

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

And the case against Ms. Crow's appointment as environment minister (or toilet attendant, for that matter) is proven.

Science Marches On!

From the BBC:

Japan's leading toilet manufacturer Toto is offering free repairs to 180,000 toilets after some of them caught fire.

And 180,000 Adlerian therapists pull out the yacht catalogues.