The Daily Mash looks at the new police guidelines regarding
how to grovel before the treatment of Pagans:
A Police Federation spokesman said: "During stressful situations there is a tendency to use hurtful or insensitive language, especially if you're trapped in a massive, highly flammable corn dolly while an entire village gambols around it with lit branches singing folk songs about 'ye offerings'.
"For example, the phrase 'Jesus Christ, help me!', clearly presupposes that a Christian god would be willing to intervene and somehow overpower the Pagan god. Likewise 'you're all insane!' infers that religious practise is some sort of mental illness and opens up a Dawkins-esque Pandora's Box."
The story is parody, but, unfortunately, the
guidelines instructing how police can best flee from reality are quite real.
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