The Guardian has declared bicycles "officially chic".Cyclist may be aggravating road hogs who block traffic, terrorise pedestrians and feel free to disobey the road rules at will because they are possessed with a staggering self-righteousness about Saving the Planet™ by dressing in Lycra shorts, logo-plastered tee shirts with the pockets the wrong-way 'round and pointless "streamlined" sunglasses in a weird fantasy that they're Lance Armstrong before putting their ludicrously over-priced and impractical machines on top of their Prius's so they can motor thirty miles out into the country where they swarm in tangled packs that make it impossible for anyone to travel more than eight miles an hour on narrow roads without shoulders and exponentially increase their chances of being run over or putting an honest citizen's car into a ditch to avoid flattening the little time-wasters, but at least they're "chic".
That paragraph of yours may well be the most perfect description of bicyclists I've ever read. And in such a concise package.
ReplyDeleteIf there's such a thing as a "Self Importance Society" their logo should be a bicycle pin, much like the ones worn in the Village on the "Prisoner".
Probably the longest sentence I have ever seen.
ReplyDeleteMaybe even longer than the king size "commie-busters" from before.
ReplyDeleteThat was one impressive sentence, David. Good thing that thing ain't going anywhere, because if you had to move it you'd need one truck under each end, and another one to keep the middle from sagging.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I live in Minnesota. Most of the year, if the cyclists are in the mood for a bit of smug, they're going to have to dress pretty warmly. It's hard to be smug while wearing a parka.
Talking about trucks, you should find a way to somehow materialize this sentence and make a few more, then put them on huge military trucks like ICBMs and parade them in your background a few times a year; I guarantee you no literary critic will ever dare to attack you !
ReplyDeleteThe cyclists' at least don't have to shell out a small fortune for fuel.
ReplyDeleteLive and let live David.
Micen90