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Tuesday, 15 February 2011

News you can use

Apparently, the correct way to defend yourself against crocodiles is to stick your thumb in its eye, while for tigers the correct procedure is to use a wooden soup ladle to apply a sound beating about the head and shoulders.

Personally, I prefer to employ solutions that involve large bullets discharged at a very high rate of fire.
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1 comment:

  1. IronmistressTuesday, 15 February 2011 at 04:37:00 GMT-8

    I'd recall the best remedy against tigers is a mask with a face painted on, attached to the backside of your head.

    A tiger always attacks from behind - it relies on surprise instead of winning a fair fight. When it sees someone with a face on its back, it hesitates from attacking and leaves him alone.

    Doesn't work with crocs, though.

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