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Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Heat ray for the big house

Castaic jail in California joins the 21st century this week as it installs a new heat ray to put down riots and other outbreaks of violence.

It's okay, but I can't help feeling that it won't be quite up to standard until it has an pulsing blue neon tube in its mechanism and an ominous hum that rises in pitch as it locks onto its target. A deep electronic "donk donk donk donk donk" sound just before it fires with a loud "pew pew pew" would be perfect.
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2 comments:

  1. TomWednesday, 25 August 2010 at 08:38:00 GMT-7

    How do you want your convicts? Regular or extra crispy?

    ReplyDelete
  2. DavidWednesday, 25 August 2010 at 09:37:00 GMT-7

    I think they should be wrapped in foil with some garlic and fennel and then heat-rayed at gas mark 5 for 30 minutes. Really brings out the flavour.

    ReplyDelete

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