Sunday, 30 September 2007

Par For The Course

A UN-African Union peacekeeper base in Darfur was overrun by "rebel forces", who grabbed every weapon and vehicle they could carry off and burned what they couldn't. At the end of the day the AU was down ten dead, seven severely injured and fifty missing-- which means that they ran like the clappers the moment the shooting started.

If it wasn't so horrifying it would be comic.

Spines of Jello

In an effort to be "inclusive", Oak Lawn school district in Chicago, Illinois tried, unsuccessfully, banning Jello from the lunch menu and are now abolishing Christmas and Halloween celebrations because they might (all together now!) offend Muslims.

Parents expect that the announcement is going to add to the tension that has been building since officials agreed earlier this month to change the lunch menu to exclude items containing pork to accommodate Muslim students. News that Jell-O was struck from the menu caused such a stir that officials have agreed to bring it back. Gelatin is often made with tissue or bones of pigs or other animals.

That controversy now appears to have been been dwarfed by the holiday debate, which became so acrimonious Wednesday that police were called to Columbus Manor School to intervene in a shouting match among parents.

"It's difficult when you change the school's culture," said Columbus Manor Principal Sandy Robertson.
True, Principal Robertson-- especially when there's no justification for doing so other than political prejudice.

In normal circumstances, this sort of multicultural groveling would be merely offensive, but in a time of war it goes well beyond a mere eye-rolling moment. If we are going to win this battle against the Jihadists, then we must show confidence in our own institutions and traditions rather than dropping them like a live hand grenade at the first opportunity. Acts of preemptive dhimmitude such as this not only make the civilised world look weak before the barbarians who wish to kill and enslave us, but it also sends entirely the wrong message to moderate Muslims, who are equally threatened, by making it appear as if it is we who are suspect and that it is we who must justify ourselves to the Muslims rather than vice versa.

Saturday, 29 September 2007


A vintage bit of Cold War sci fi with flame-throwing robots: Gog.

Friday, 28 September 2007

Nowhere to Hide

So fed up with the nanny state that you want to go for a quiet ride in your car and get away from it all for a bit?

Don't light up, though. The Party has declared it a thoughtcrime "distraction".

Maybe If He Had a Goatee

The speech that David Cameron should make-- if he were somehow replaced by a doppelganger from a parallel universe.

Party Hints

Next time you're at a party, jump in and say,
Did you know there are more wild pigs than people in Australia?
It's guaranteed to stop the conversation dead in its tracks.

Thursday, 27 September 2007

Dhimmitude in Canada

Vancouver, Canada is introducing strict new anti-smoking laws that will prohibit lighting up in almost all public places-- unless you're a Muslim having a go at the old hookah:

Vancouver's hookah-parlour owners are celebrating after winning an exemption Thursday from a proposed new bylaw that will ban smoking on most sidewalks in commercial districts, in bus shelters and even in taxis passing through Vancouver.

In giving the bylaw unanimous approval-in-principle, Vancouver city council members bowed to arguments that hookah lounges provide an important cultural space for the city's Muslims and granted them a temporary exemption.

So, can I claim that the pub is "an important cultural space" or is that line of argument off limits for dhimmis?

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

Into Airstrip One, Probably

Labour's new slogan is "Strength to Change Britain."

The question is, into what, Mr. Brown? Into what?

Criminal Lawyers

Hofstra Law School is hosting the Sixth Biannual Legal Ethics Conference "Lawyering at the Edge: Unpopular Clients, Difficult Cases, Zealous Advocates". Not very big news until you notice one of the "dynamic" speakers on their list:
Lynne Stewart, who has defended many unpopular clients over the years
What Hofstra fails to mention is that Lynne Stewart is also a convicted felon who was found guilty, sentenced to prison and disbarred from practicing law in 2006 for helping an imprisoned Jihadi terrorist who was behind the 1993 WTC bombing and the 1997 Luxor massacre pass messages to his followers so they could carry on his campaign of mass murder.

I'm not just stunned that Hofstra would let a traitor like her be touted as an expert on "ethics", but that she isn't still in gaol serving a life sentence.

Dietary Dhimmitude

Oh, yeah. Violate my rights, baby!

Canada stands firm as a custard according to the Toronto Sun:
A Muslim inmate has won $2,000 and a partial human rights victory over a Correctional Service of Canada policy not to replace bacon with a halal diet for Islam-worshiping cons.
If this is a "human rights" violation, then Hot Pockets are a crime against humanity.

By Any Other Name, It Would Still Leak

In 1933, Lawrence Kocher, "noted architect" came up with this revolutionary design for a house made of canvas stretched over a wooden frame.

When a casual observer pointed out that he'd invented the tent, Mr. Kocher wouldn't touch his porridge for days.

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Miliband Madness

The foreign secretary Mr.David Miliband at the Labour party conference rejected a referendum on the EU treaty as "institutional navel-gazing" and said that Kosovo must become a Muslim state and Turkey allowed into the EU because "Europe can't be a closed Christian club."

This man wants a rejected EU constitution imposed on Britain in the guise of a "treaty" without a vote and in a time of war with Jihadi fanatics who want St. Paul's turned into a mosque he wants a Muslim state squarely in Europe and to allow a barely secular country of 80 million Muslims into the EU without a single caveat.

And this man is Her Majesty's foreign secretary.

Sometimes I feel like we're fighting a war on two fronts and the second one is the government itself.

Sputnik at Fifty

Fifty years ago the Soviet Union ushered in the Space Age with the launch of Sputnik.

A pity it had to also be a certified brown-trouser moment for free men everywhere.

Monday, 24 September 2007

Bobby's Bike

Greater Manchester bans the police from riding their bicycles, fearing they might fall off and hurt themselves.

In other news, policemen are numbered in case they get lost.

If It Flops, Blame The Audience

David Kahane has a beautiful summing up of Hollywood's current raft of anti-war films:
Now, what do all these films have in common — besides being passionate indictments?

They all flopped. Or will, soon enough. (Except for, maybe, The Kingdom, which apparently has an appalling whiff of vigilantism.) And this is something we out here in Hollywood just cannot wrap our minds around.

What the hell is wrong with this country? We support the troops, showing them as the dysfunctional, murdering, drug-addicted, red-state crypto-rapists in need of psychoanalysis we all know they really are. Hey — even the Marine officer in Alan Ball’s award-winning
American Beauty a few years back was humanized by making him a sadist and a closet queen. And this is the thanks we get?
Ungrateful so and sos. And after we gave them Gigli, too!

Sunday, 23 September 2007

I Don't Want To Go On The Cart

According to the news sources, this video proves that Fidel Castro hasn't popped his clogs yet.

My Spanish isn't up to it and I haven't seen a translation of the old gasbag's interview, so I've no way to judge whether it's authentic or not, but since no one with better linguistic skills than I have has denounced it, I can only assume that the Earth is still heavier by the weight of one tyrant.

Still, I can't help feeling that the tone of the video was rather similar to this:

Marcel Marceau: 1923-2007

Marcel Marceau has passed away at the age of 84.

He's to be buried in an invisible box.

Saturday, 22 September 2007


BBC headline:
Church gives birth to baby girl
The Age of Miracles is not past.


And now your Saturday bit of culture: Macbeth.

It's a laugh a minute, I hear.

Friday, 21 September 2007

Land of the Rising Vending Machine

An in-depth look at the insane array of Japanese vending machines.

Having fallen in love with the pastry vending machines outside of bakeries in the Netherlands that let you buy the odd bun at 2AM that does not taste of cellophane, I can accept most of these contraptions, but for some reason the umbrella vending machine strikes me as downright weird.

Hand Me My Fowling Piece, Old Boy

Here's the new German UAV being deployed by the British police in action.

The technology is marvelous, I applaud its use by the armed forces and I seriously want one for myself, but, given given the Ingsoc proclivities of the government, putting this in the hands of the police makes two words spring to mind:
Skeet shoot.

Thursday, 20 September 2007

Look Out For Pods

From the AFP:
Villagers in southern Peru were struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area, regional authorities said Monday.
Professor Bernard Quatermass was unavailable for comment.

A Cutting Issue

BBC headline:
TV cat poll was fixed, BBC says
And so was the cat, presumably.

Many Eyes and None That See

  • 10,524 CCTV cameras in London.
  • Cost: £200 million
  • Unsolved crime rate: 80%
As I've said, it isn't just that these totalitarians are taking away our liberties, it's that they can't even accomplish what they claimed was the reason for doing so.

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

The Truth is Out There

You've probably seen this video, but there are two interesting things about it.
  1. Notice that the gentleman in question is grabbed by the police right after he asks if Senator Kerry is a member of Skull and Bones.
  2. Notice the incident's striking similarity to this.
Coincidence or conspiracy? Raving paranoids & Goon Show fans need to know!

Axis? What Axis?

The Telegraph reports that Iranian military engineers were injured during an attempt to mount a chemical warhead on a missile in Syria. This comes within a week of an Israeli strike against what may have been a secret North Korean nuclear cache being looked after by Boy Assad and company.

Move along, please. Nothing to see here.

Going Cheap

Someone tried to sell Belgium on ebay.

What amazes me it that someone tried to buy it.

Haute Couture

Having exhausted all the trivial issues of the day, the BBC weighs in on The Question of Our Times:
They do charity work. They want their contribution to British culture to be taken seriously. But why do people look down their noses at the fashion industry?
At a guess, it might have something to do with the industry being top heavy with a load of narcissistic, talentless frauds who have reduced the making of overpriced frocks to an irredeemable laughing stock.

Not a Hope/Crosby Road Picture

Friedrich A. Hayek on The Road to Serfdom.

King Canute, Call Your Service

From the BBC:
The European Union's goal of keeping the global temperature rise to 2C is unlikely to be met, a leading climate researcher has warned.
In other news, the EU projects for holding back the tide, making the Sun stand still and abolish death don't seem to be doing too well either.

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Eh, Eck

Breeam surgeons av discovered 'a' tinkerin wi' t' breeam can gerr rid o' 'a' northern call 'n mek theur call li' eur reet toff.

Henry Higgins wor unavailable for comment.

Monday, 17 September 2007

We're at War; Don't Tell Anyone

You've got a Jihadist in camouflage paint running around the local park with an AK-47. Do you:
  1. Arrest him and fully inform the public so that they are aware of the threat we face and that our enemy can strike anywhere.
  2. Arrest him and try to cover the whole thing up to avoid the Inevitable Yet Never Seen Anti-Muslim Backlash.
If you choose 2, congratulations. You are now the mayor of Dearborn, Michigan.

Davy Crockett

And now we present the smallest nuclear weapon ever fielded by the US Army: The Davy Crockett tactical nuclear system.

It had a range of only three miles, so it wasn't so much fire-and-forget as fire-and-run-like-the-clappers.

If You Want Peace, Prepare for War

From the Telegraph:
The world should "prepare for war" with Iran, the French foreign minister has said, significantly escalating tensions over the country's nuclear programme.

Bernard Kouchner said that while "we must negotiate right to the end" with Iran, if Teheran possessed an atomic weapon it would represent "a real danger for the whole world".

The world should "prepare for the worst... which is war", he said.
At last we know where David Cameron shipped all those Conservative party spines.

Squirrel for Breakfast

I was woken up this morning at about 6:30 by the wife asking me to "come and see what your dog did."

Whenever she calls Carl the Cattle Dog "my" dog it invariably means something unpleasant. Sure enough, as I stumbled blearily into the kitchen there was Carl sitting happy as a lark, wagging his tail and showing off the dead squirrel he'd brought in. It was not only dead, but rigid and dirty, which indicates that Carl had caught the little bugger the night before and had buried it until a more convenient time to show it off-- which turned out to be the crack of dawn. Thank God my wife intercepted him or he'd have plopped it on my pillow and I have no desire to go through a cheap remake of The Godfather.

If life keeps going on like this, I have GOT to get a Teasmade.

Sunday, 16 September 2007

The Projected Man

It's been one of those days, so I'm handing over to Mike and the 'Bots with the classic bit of British Cheddar, The Projected Man.

Will Lembach stay? The tension is palpably bearable!

Saturday, 15 September 2007

Shooting One's Foot

Al Qaeda has not only moved the Swedish Cartoon War from a question of "sensitivity" to deadly serious by putting a price on the head of the cartoonist and his editor, but they've also responded to their waning support in Iraq by declaring war on the very Sunnis they claim to champion.

Yup. All the foresight of Julius Caesar on the Ides of March.

Foxhole Radio

This sort of fairy liquid bottle and string construction has always fascinated me, though in an emergency I think I'd fall back on the pocket-sized shortwave I keep in the car.

Friday, 14 September 2007

Anti-Pigeon Device - Watch more free videos
I don't have a pool, but I WANT one of these!

A Matter of Tenses

Reuters headline:
Cuban officials say Castro not dying
For once, I have no doubt they're speaking the truth.

Thursday, 13 September 2007

The Machine Stops

The BBC's adaptation of E. M. Forsters classic 1909 science fiction parable.

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Boar Wars

Here's why I'll take good old-fashioned conservation over environmentalism any day. Two years ago animal rights criminals activists released 35 wild boars from a farm in order to "save" them. Since then, the giant porkers' numbers have risen to 175 and have wrecked so much havoc on the surrounding countryside, wildlife and livestock that the farmer, his business ruined, must hunt down and kill the lot.

Nice job of "saving" there.

Brace Yourself, Svetlana

Today is Sex Day in Russia.

There is a Slavic sex manual joke here struggling mightily to get out.

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

As If It Was Any Of Their Businees To Start With

The Eurocrats have announced that they've given up trying to force the metric system down the throats of the British people.

One word:


Monday, 10 September 2007

Passport to Europe

A proper passport

It was bad enough when they scrapped proper British passports for those nasty little maroon ones. Now we have this from the Foreign Office, courtesy of the EU Department for National Extinction that plans to remove the Queen and the coat of arms from passports as well (emphasis added):

The new documents, which could be in place as early as 2010, would bear reference to the EU constitution in order to remind UK citizens that they are part of Europe.

The royal coat of arms may be removed from the UK passport.
The first page of the British passport has historically featured the royal coat of arms with a message from the Queen beginning: "Her Britannic Majesty's Secretary of State".

The words go on to outline that the citizen has a right to travel freely and has the right to protection and assistance.

Under new changes, however, it has been suggested that the coat of arms are scrapped and replaced by the EU emblem of 12 stars with the message underneath reading: "Every citizen of the Union".

The new version has been taken from Article 20 of the EU Constitution, the treaty that was discredited two years ago after it was rejected by member states including France and the Netherlands.

Let's hope that this idea is binned with all the scorn it deserves. It's bad enough that the EU would try to shove a rejected constitution in on the sly, but if Her Majesty's government commits such a blatant act of disloyalty against the Crown and the British people to kowtow to a load of Eurocrats, it would be nothing less than treasonous.

One MILLION Dollars

Orbital death rays came a step closer to reality as scientists at the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) and Osaka University unveil their laser that converts sunlight into world-dominating photon goodness.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld was unavailable for comment.

Sunday, 9 September 2007

The Masque of the Vote

And war is peace freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength.

Canadians can now vote wearing a mask. Sorry, a full face veil, niqab or burka.

I sincerely hope that the whole of the Canadian electorate takes this to heart and shows up to vote wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, Halloween masks, balaclavas, stockings, ski masks, dominoes and ghost costumes.

Polling day, Mardis Gras, dhimmitude; what's the difference?

Pi Music

Ever wonder what the first 10,000 digits of pi would sound like when converted into musical notes?

Wonder no longer.

Friday, 7 September 2007

Progress Report

The Times learns that half the mosques in Britain are under the control of a radical Islamist sect.

Treating terrorism as a purely criminal matter is really working well, I see.

Penal Priorities

Meanwhile, the Norwegians, in an effort to Save the PlanetTM, have a "green" prison that strives to take drug smugglers, fraudsters, rapists and murderers and turn them into environmentally conscious drug smugglers, fraudsters, rapists and murderers.

And what if one of these drug smugglers, fraudsters, rapists or murderers should flee the reeducation camp prison? Then the governor will leap into action-- and sit by the phone.
We tell all the prisoners that if they escape, they must telephone to let us know they've made it safely to the mainland.
Go ahead and rape, pillage and burn, lads, but don't forget to ring home so we don't fret.

Devils Island has nothing on this place.

Who Are You Going to Believe: Us or Your Lying Eyes?

Meet your oh-so-friendly Thoughtpolice "Recycling Advisers".

Objective reality to the contrary, they're not snooping in your dustbins; they're "re-educating" you.

Thursday, 6 September 2007

Where Patriotism Equals Racism

Sweden may have grown a spine in the latest round of the Cartoon Wars, but old habits die hard. Case in point: A school in Karlshamn has banned students from wearing the Swedish flag on their clothes because it is... wait for it.... "racist."
Since national flags may be perceived by some as xenophobic, eighth grade pupils in Karlshamn have been ordered to wear less inflammatory garb for a photo to be published in the school yearbook.

"Anybody looking at the photo could view it as a political demonstration," principal Pär Blondell from Strandskolan told news agency TT.
Anybody could view is as a political demonstration. Anybody could also view it as a 1924 open-top touring car filled with treacle. Perhaps we should instead confine ourselves to the views of sane people.

With all due respect to Principal Blondell, if he regards the flag of his nation as a racist symbol, I recommend that he emigrate to a country more congenial to his views.

Tawdry Tory

Great Britain: 2050 AD

I've long thought that if David Cameron is a Tory, then President Ahmadinejad is a Hasidic Jew. As evidence, you needn't look further than how Mr. Cameron justifies his "planet-destroying" lifestyle via carbon offsets in a manner that would do justice to the most hypocritical of Blairite lefties:

The details of this carbon-offsetting scheme are disturbing. Cameron offsets his flights by donating to Climate Care. The latest wheeze of this carbon-offsetting company is to provide ‘treadle pumps’ to poor rural families in India so that they can get water on to their land without having to use polluting diesel power. Made from bamboo, plastic and steel, the treadle pumps work like ‘step machines in a gym’, according to some reports, where poor family members step on the pedals for hours in order to draw up groundwater which is used to irrigate farmland. These pumps were abolished in British prisons a century ago. It seems that what was considered an unacceptable form of punishment for British criminals in the past is looked upon as a positive eco-alternative to machinery for Indian peasants today.

What might once have been referred to as ‘back-breaking labour’ is now spun as ‘human energy’. According to Climate Care, the use of labour-intensive treadle pumps, rather than labour-saving diesel-powered pumps, saves 0.65 tonnes of carbon a year per farming family. And well-off Westerners - including Cameron, and Prince Charles, Land Rover and the Cooperative Bank, who are also clients of Climate Care - can purchase this saved carbon in order to continue living the high life without becoming consumed by eco-guilt. They effectively salve their moral consciences by paying poor people to live the harsh simple life on their behalf.

I never thought I'd see the day that the leader of the Conservative party would have any truck with this sort of ecotwaddle or make common cause with the New Aristocracy of the Left who want to do the same to the rest of us.

It's enough to make Lady Thatcher spin in her grave.

She's not dead.

Well, this will kill her.

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Hands Across the Seas

Speaking of Mars bars, here is a Transatlantic taste test the reveals hidden wisdom.

Switching Off

The BBC was forced to cancel a political rally TV special on climate change because its "consciousness raising" message was too blatantly biased for even the Beeb to get away with.

Not surprisingly, Richard Black's report for the BBC on the decision starts off and continues for half the article with responses from environmentalists condemning the cancellation and when he finally does get to those who questioned the BBC's wisdom Mr. Black summarilly dismisses them as "right-wing" before rushing off to a BBC One spokesman backpedaling along the path of declaring that it was really about the BBC preferring to concentrate on documentaries.

In fact, if one looks closer, one can find the true nougat of truth in the Mars bar of controversy in this quote:
Celebrities such as Ricky Gervais were said to be interested in presenting the show, which would have involved viewers in a mass "switch-off" to save energy.
Aside from the fact that flipping a light switch "saves energy" about as effectively as closing a window blind "saves sunlight", perhaps the reality behind the cancellation was that it dawned on the BBC that putting the idea of "switching off" in the heads of viewers was too close to reminding them of the practical alternative to watching this sort of drivel.

The Why of DNA

I had a comment from one of my regular visitors asking what I have against universal DNA sampling as opposed to restricting it to actual criminals. I toyed with a number of elegant and subtle arguments, but I believe that this sums it up best.

The Fairness of Tyranny

Lord Chief Justice Sedley has declared that the British government's policy of taking DNA samples from people hauled in for even minor offences to be "unfair." How to make it fair? Take DNA samples from everyone in the country, native or visitor, regardless of guilt or innocence.

Ah, the logic of the tyrant is breathtaking. If it's unfair to stamp one man in the face with a jackboot, then it makes it fair if everyone is so stamped.

Green Logic

Going for a walk will destroy the world. Therefore, going for a walk with your dog will take out the Earth and several neighbouring planets.


Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Black Holes of the Internet

Reporters Without Borders has a map of the "black holes of the Internet"; that is, countries that restrict their citizen's access to the Internet.

You'll notice that it's all Islamists and Communist remnants. Who would have guessed.

Cooling His Heels

A British yachtsman is circumnavigating the Arctic sea to draw attention to the rapidly disappearing ice cap that has left the arctic looking like a somewhat cooler version of the Mediterranean.

Unfortunately, the ice cap has not only failed to vanish, but it's heavier than usual this year. So far, the only attention he's drawn has been from the Russians, whose nuclear-powered icebreakers he needs to ferry his boat through the impenetrable ice (if they can even manage it themselves!), and of the polar bears, who are a tad more numerous than he thought and regard his skylark as a crunchy treat with a chewy centre.

Moral: Never believe the hype; it makes for poor advance planning.

Monday, 3 September 2007

Premptive Tyranny

Hexham children's services, part of Northumberland County Council, has deemed an expectant mother unfit and will take her child away from her at birth. Why? Because a pediatrician, who has never met her and has no qualifications as a psychiatrist, has sent the Council a letter saying that the mother suffers from "Munchhausen's Syndrome", an unproven condition, and therefore capable of emotional abuse or harm to her not-yet born child. Furthermore, all hearings regarding the matter will be held in camera and anyone discussing any aspect of them will be in peril of contempt of court.

No direct evidence, a diagnosis by proxy, a Star Chamber, and a letter of denunciation submitted in a manner reminiscent of Venice's old Council of Ten. The shade of Joseph Stalin can only look on in admiration.

On the Expense Account

Ever fancy dropping $1,677,273.50 on a day's meals? Then follow the link and watch your life's savings melt away.

Alternatively, you can stick with me and for £50 we'll start with eggs, bacon, baked beans and chips for breakfast and end up with steak & kidney pudding with a bottle of cheap Chardy for supper by way of a slap-up ploughman's lunch with a few decent pints of Guinness to wash it down and a cream tea to round out the afternoon.

I'll even throw in a couple of pork pies & a Mars bar to tide over 'tween times.

Can't say fairer than that.

Nuclear Swings and Roundabouts

Remember, an enemy is just a misunderstood friend.

The good news: North Korea agrees to end its nuclear weapons programme.

The bad news: The same load of IAEA dimwits who allowed Dear Leader to get his first batch of bombs is monitoring the deal.

Sleep tight, everyone.

Sunday, 2 September 2007

Gorey Trek

If Edward Gorey had written The Trouble With Tribbles.

Hard Choices Now or Impossible Choices Tomorrow

A rundown of the last few days:
  • The IAEA, the nuclear inspection agency with a learning curve as flat as Kansas, declared on Thursday that Iran is "cooperating" to "resolve outstanding issues."
  • Today, Iran demonstrated that its idea of "cooperation" is to bring another 3000 centrifuges on line.
  • Meanwhile, the Pentagon shows more realism and draws up plans for a three-day blitz that will take out Iran's entire military infrastructure in case the Mullah's get too close to lighting the blue touch-paper.
Every day I feel more like I'm living through a repeat of the late '30s with the IAEA playing the part of the umbrella. The words "Rhineland 1936" in two-foot letters should be tacked up on the wall of every Western leader.

Space Ghost

Time to wash out the palette, so here's a bit of Space Ghost with Frenchmen in space. Gads, the jokes just write themselves.

Saturday, 1 September 2007


And now, your bit of turgid and pretentious Saturday French New Wave Sci Fi: Alphaville.